,and the saxophone was the street that ran in front of the squat little buildings and the synths were the streetlights and the drums were the small signs of human life a car gliding across the road or a lamp turned on in an empty living room. And it was everyone’s, but really it was theirs.
He had never been here before and normally he wouldn’t like it but now he did. He thought when did the First get that, and is that a lighter? it was and he watched it flicker while the First took a drag. It made him remember laying in the grass 12 years before that when smoking was still bad and the sky was blue and there were dandelions, dead dandelions and they blew the seeds off of them and watched as they floated across a backdrop of ancient rocks stacked high. And now the sky was dark and the seeds had been replaced with the smoke from the burning tobacco. Now their clothes would smell like smoke but then their clothes would have been covered in grass stains.
The First asked what He thought about the news, and He replied that he couldn’t believe his classmates really thought it would end up so far south, so far from the coast, but that it could probably come there, and anyway there was a girl from China that moved there just the other week. And the First nodded, and then He continued to speak and He said that she was caught fucking in the parking lot before school only in the second week of school. And the First laughed and asked who would want to fuck at six o’clock in their school parking lot and they all laughed, even the Third.
The Third knew about the girl from China because He had told the Third about it, but the Third didn’t use that kind of language yet and so he just asked if she was really from China. Yes, she’s from China, He replied, and she came just two weeks ago and her dad was a diplomat. I don’t know why they left but I can guess. The First smoked his cigarette. And the Third said that it would be like a zombie movie and they all nodded.
They were watching a movie but they hadn’t finished it and it was paused downstairs but none of the roommates were there and so they didn’t have to fight over the TV or the couch. Then they climbed back down the ladder and walked inside and sat on the couch. They sat for a while and then he turned on a song and they all listened. The Third asked who it was and He said it was A Tribe Called Quest, it was their song Award Tour and it was his favorite to listen to right now. And even five years later the song would play and He would think about that moment in time. And when the song stopped playing and they all sat quietly for a while.
Then the First started talking about his girlfriend, and He replied saying he was talking to a girl too, and the Third said he had a girlfriend. And He didn’t even know the Third had a girlfriend, even though He had driven the Third to school every day that year. You have a girlfriend? He asked. Yes I do, the Third replied. Do I know her? He asked and the Third shrugged. The First said something in response and he turned the movie back on.
When they were done with the movie He went to brush his teeth and he went to bed. And He fell asleep thinking of walking through the streets of the city at night and the pennyboard they had been riding around with a blue deck and orange wheels. He thought of the liquor store and the winding hills and the little trolley tracks that ran through it all and the larger hills that they saw in the distance and the lights and the radio tower they saw.
When it was morning they went back up to the roof and it felt the same. The feeling was anticipation and they saw the landscape in the light now, and it felt the same between night and day, and it felt like it was theirs because nobody was around them even though it was eleven o’clock.
He tried to remember if the First had smoked a cigarette again but He couldn’t remember. He tried to remember as hard as he could, but now He thought about how black the First’s hair was and the way the First had held his head and smiled. And now the saxophone was now the hair being moved by the wind and the synths were the blackness of the hair and the drums were the short sleeve t-shirt the First was wearing. The melody together was telling Him to remember this and that He needed to remember it right now as much as he could.
And He thought about how they say that when you die you lose your mind and you ask for your mom or you think of important moments of your life. And he knew that he would remember the roof and the cigarette when it was the end, and that right now the First was standing on the roof and in ten or twenty or twenty-five, or quite honestly with the state of medicine as it was, forty-five years, although that was an average. The First would have to stand on the roof for forty-five years, maybe even more.
No, because then this place would be too sad He told the First. You don’t want to wait here for forty-five years He repeated. It would make you sad and make you hate this place and it needs to be set aside. So if you don’t set aside this very moment then it won’t be special. And the First nodded in understanding.
I’m sorry but you don’t understand, He said, you’ll have to trust me on it. So wait somewhere else for that time and when it’s right we will all be meet here together. The First nodded again, and now He saw the First didn’t have any other way to talk to Him, and He couldn’t even really see the First nod, but He knew that the First would’ve nodded, which is why He said the First nodded again.
Since you’re mute, and I mean that as a sober assessment, you’ll have to go somewhere else and we can only come back here when we’re all here, He repeated. And the Third asked Him, when we are all back here will we stay here?
And He thought and he decided they wouldn’t stay here. And the Third asked, then why do we meet here? And He thought for a second and He said, if we wait and we meet here after forty-five years, no, because of you, fifty years, and that’s given the current state of medicine, although it’s just an average, we will catch up on what we missed. The First nodded and the Third blinked and then He continued. I don’t think I would have to catch up with you as much, He said to Third, but we will have to catch up with him. And he pointed to the First when he said that.
The Third nodded and shook His hand in agreement while the First looked at the both of them, his back was to the city, and they stood closer to the ladder. Well, you can’t stay here but we’ll back, He told the First. And the First stood there. The Third said, we’d shake your hand but we can’t do that right now. And the First stood there.
Will you be cold without a jacket? He asked but the First moved his head and they took it to mean no. They took it to mean it’ll be a long wait. The Third climbed down the ladder, and He followed.
When He was on the bottom rung He heard the First, say yes I’m cold if you could bring me a jacket, a jacket with Mickey Mouse on the front. After a moment of thought, He decided He would rather not bring him a jacket. In forty-five or fifty years the jacket would’ve been turned into a rag, He knew it, so He didn’t get a jacket. He walked with the Third out to the street and looked up. They couldn’t see anyone from that angle, but they knew that the First probably hadn’t left yet.
The Third spoke and asked Him if He heard what the First said on the ladder. Yes, He said, but I couldn’t bring him a jacket. The Third was confused and said he didn’t ask for a coat.
He asked the Third what the First had asked for if not a jacket.
He said he was bored, the Third said, he said he was bored and he wanted his cigarettes.
Be that as it may, He replied, that’s just another way for him to say he was cold.
I guess so, said the Third, but I didn’t get him the cigarettes.
Well I didn’t get him the jacket, He replied.
They had walked away from the building and they couldn’t see the First anymore and the building was different. The street felt different although it was really the same.
Is he up there, He asked the Third. He knew he wasn’t there, but He still asked. The Third replied to him and said no, because the place would go bad if He stayed there which is what you told us so he’s not there. And they walked away.
and the saxophone was forty-five years and the synths were the empty rooftop and the drums were the parts He already forgot and the parts He was going to forget.